Tuesday, February 28, 2017

learning blog

moment in time writing




swimming relay

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
SUCCESS CHECKLIST
  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • some short, sharp sentences; mixed with some longer ones
  • strong verbs
  • uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
  • language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
  • show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)



Splash, I jumped into the water, as I attempted to run in the water i fell over. I got a mouth full of chlorine water “eew” I kept going as I as I reach the end I see my teammate with his hand out waiting for me I jumped and slapped his hand.

In the background I could hear heaps of people screaming and people cheering for their team mates I decided to do the same, I started to cheer for my team mates as they reached the end and guess what my team won and we were cheering and shouting and we were so happy.