Tuesday, February 28, 2017

learning blog

moment in time writing




swimming relay

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
SUCCESS CHECKLIST
  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • some short, sharp sentences; mixed with some longer ones
  • strong verbs
  • uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
  • language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
  • show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)



Splash, I jumped into the water, as I attempted to run in the water i fell over. I got a mouth full of chlorine water “eew” I kept going as I as I reach the end I see my teammate with his hand out waiting for me I jumped and slapped his hand.

In the background I could hear heaps of people screaming and people cheering for their team mates I decided to do the same, I started to cheer for my team mates as they reached the end and guess what my team won and we were cheering and shouting and we were so happy.

1 comment:

  1. That's a great moment in time writing that's terrible you fell least your okay. Its amazing your team won!. great job with the swimming relays and great job with your blog post Bella!!! :D

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